Will's Second Paper Draft

Do you remember where you were on September 11, 2001? I was 10 years old at my elementary school when our grade was called in by our principal. He told us there had been a horrific tragedy, and the World Trade Center had been hit by two planes and had collapsed. At the time, I did not really know the true significance of this event, but as I grew up, I learned that it was one that I will never forget. Cayce Pollard will never forget it either. Ever since this day, Cayce has seen her life change in multiple ways. The world itself has “gone in such a different direction”, and Cayce has experienced the movement of this direction. The globalization aspect of the world is shown through Pattern Recognition. Cayce possesses individuality and uniqueness to help her in the journey with this new movement of the world. Cayce watches the world around her evolve and she is able to try to push away this dreaded past to focus on this future of hers. Cayce carries certain characteristics and qualities that allow her to evolve into the person that she becomes; as the world moves in a different and odd direction, so does Cayce and her ability to deal with her transformation.

Cayce’s life undergoes many changes throughout the novel, and it is because of her traits and events that have happened in her life, that cause these changes. 9/11 is one of the most obvious examples in the novel. Cayce experienced a horrific tragedy, one that she subconsciously won’t forget. Another event that is frightful for Cayce is the death of her father. This signifies loss for Cayce, a theme throughout the book. The hardest question for people to respond to is, how do I come to grips with death? It is impossible to know when death is going to happen or how it might happen, and there is nothing you can do sometimes to prepare yourself to deal with a loss of a loved one. The biggest question that arises during a time of death is why? Why does Cayce have to deal with it? Why was it Win who died? Why did this happen? All of these questions are a part of this change that Cayce has to deal with. Gibson remarks, “But this is a mood, she tells herself, a bad one in its low-key way, dealt by soul-delay” (202). This soul is considered to be the core of one’s being. It is what makes up an individual and Cayce possesses and holds the key to her own soul. It is designed not to be touched by anyone else. The same kind of thing can be said for the 9/11 events. The death of her father and 9/11 are directly linked. Cayce was able to deal with this by pulling deep down inside her to the soul of her existence. How the world changed after 9/11 was extremely significant and affected everyone who walked the earth. It was symbolic of large global changes.

Globalization is a movement to make everything almost standardized. Globalization is a homogenizing force that promotes a lack of individuality. Technology is a huge driving force in the globalization movement. The Internet, cell phones, and satellite communication have all contributed to globalization. Cayce communicates mostly via e-mail which shows how the world has globalized a little bit. In a globalized world, a big aspect is the rise of the corporation. Volkav possesses this in the novel with his oil corporation. All nations depend on oil and without it, the world would not function. “Russian Federation’s got it. Means huge changes in the flow of global capital. Means we’re going to be running on Russian oil”. Boone tells Cayce this, and it shows how globalization has occurred through the novel. Globalization has multiculturalism and a cosmopolitan aspect to it as well; what globalization creates is a lack of individuality. Even in this globalized world, Cayce tries to be more individual.

The biggest question in creating individuality in a globalized society is, how do you express uniqueness when everyone seems to be linked? Cayce tries to be individualized in this global world. Gibson remarks, “However odd things seem, mustn’t it be to exactly that extent of oddness that a life is one’s own, and no one else’s?” (203). Cayce’s phobias are a quality that she uses in order to make her unique. The ability she has to recognize and judge certain logos allows her to be successful at her job and in life. Blue Ant really appreciates what she has to offer from a business aspect. The tragedies that occur seem to motivate Cayce to do her job well. She is always striving for some higher goal like the new job position, but most importantly, the maker of the footage. Cayce becomes accustomed to this new lifestyle and actually likes it. Being different isn’t as bad as it seems. “She feels as though something huge has happened, is happening, but she can’t define it. She knows that it’s about meeting Stella, and hearing her story, and her sister’s, but somehow she no longer is able to fit it to her life. Or rather she lives now in that story, her life left somewhere behind, like a room she’s stepped out of. Not far away at all but she is no longer in” (303). Cayce essentially left her problems, tragedies, and feelings all behind to get to this better place in life. A more satisfying aspect of life, and one that required tremendous determination and perseverance, is what Cayce has now achieved. What allowed Cayce to get in this position was her individuality throughout the globalization of the world. Individuality in the whole spectrum is the key to success and that is what Cayce has done.

Cayce was able to set goals for herself and maintain uniqueness even after previous events in her life. This leaves a certain question, what is there to expect? The sudden death of her father, the 9/11 attacks, spontaneity is impossible to predict. Chasing the footage down and understanding what it means was a challenge to Cayce. Did she realize what the future would hold? No, but she used it as motivation to make a name for herself. What does the future hold for us? Can we predict or realize what will happen? Often times, people get caught up looking back at their past and wishing something wouldn’t have happened. Instead, looking to the future and making strides towards a positive aspect in life might be the best option and present the overall best outcome.

Peer edit (Amy)
This paper provides very strong arguments throughout, and is off to a great start. The paper starts off with a very interesting and catchy intro, which is great. The intro paragraph as a whole is really good, but I think you could change the thesis around a little. I know what you are saying in your thesis, and you provide good evidence throughout your paper to back it up, but it sounds a little choppy and should be clearer since it is one of the most important sentences of the whole paper. Next, I think you should provide a greater link between some of the paragraphs. For example, the paragraph about globalization seems like it comes out of nowhere. Linking globalization and Cayce’s losses (what you talk about in the previous paragraph) would probably be beneficial. You do a good job of linking the 3rd and 4th paragraph together. Next, in the 4th paragraph, I think you should talk about other aspects of Cayce’s personality that make her unique. Examples you could use (along with her allergy) are the way she dresses and her passion for FFF. Next, the part about Cayce becoming accustomed to the new world and how her individualism helps her (in paragraph 4) is good to mention, but I think you should make it into its own paragraph because it doesn’t really seem to fit where it is. Other than that, all of the quotes throughout the paper were properly chosen and placed. In addition, they were intertwined really well into your paragraphs, making the paper flow better. My favorite part about the paper was all of the rhetorical questions you used. It really added emphasis to some of the arguments in your paper and made them stronger. I think you’ll get a really good grade on this paper. It was very convincing, good job!

Peer Edit (Regan)
This is a great start to your paper as you touch on a lot of good points. You go in depth with Cayce's identity and the uniqueness about her and also touch on the theme of globalization. However, I would talk more about this and how the world is homogenized through businesses and how Cayce sees this everywhere she goes. Since you talk a lot about the loss of Cayce's father and because it might be one of the biggest parts of the book, I would ellaborate on that and talk about how it signifies a missing piece of Cayce's identity. Like Amy states, I think the biggest thing to change is breaking apart your paragraphs and linking them together better. I like your introduction and it is very similar to mine in the sense that it is about a real life experience. I think this is good becasue it draws the reader in and makes them also relate to the situation. After your real life story you go on and tie this in with Cayce's identity which is good.

I think by strengthening your conclusion and editing the rest of the stuff mentioned, your paper will turn out realy well. Great Paper and best of luck!

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