Mariela: this is a well-written paper that outlines its main points well and supports them with good evidence. I particularly like your rhetorical flourishes, such as the positing of questions to the reader, that keep your audience engaged. However, it could still stand a bit more retooling in a couple of areas: first, you might consider developing more logical transitions between paragraphs to make the paper seem less like a loose collection of arguments. Second, you should try to make your thesis more clear and present at the start of the paper. Third, you should work on eliminating those straggling stylistic and grammatical errors that break up the flow of your writing. If you can work on these things, I think that your second paper will come off even better. 90/100
Mariela's First Final Draft / Discussion
This is the discussion related to the wiki page Mariela's First Final Draft.