Aric's First Paper

Imagine a college campusin London ( I moved this from your end of the sentence) 20 years from now that doesn’t have a single textbook, the library is only big(change the order as "big only") because there needs to beit needs a room for computers, and students go to class, lap top in hand, just to see their teacher on the projector screen teaching from home, in London. This scenario might seem crazy, and it very well might be; but kids in the ‘50s probably would have looked at today’s campus and wonder, what happened? The Internet has allowed us to create a diverse campus in culture and in thought. What do we have now that we would wish away?
The internet has created a way for everyone to stay in touch, more so then ever before with the appearance of websites like Facebook, tailored to keeping an open connection with all one’s friends, to Twitter, a way for people to send out messages to let one’s followers to know what one is up to. With access to these websites, people can keep up with all their friends, knowing which fraternity is hosting a party on Friday, sharing pictures of one’s adventures, catching up with old elementary school classmates, or finding out a little more about one’s classmates. In a sense, thisIt is nice; harder to forget a friend’s birthday, or it becomes easier to send a message to your roommate telling him not to lock the door because you forgot your key. On the same side of that, sometimes we become a little too forgetful, not actually knowing what day Michael, or Sam, or even James’ birthday is on or maybe forgetting to do things, knowing that you always have a safety net. Needless to say, the Internet has allowed us to stay together, for better or for worse. This social connectivity helps when we need a friend or just help on homework. It allows us to take what we have worked on in class and to share it with everyone so that we can find a way to improve our work.
Academically, the Internet has allowed us to connect more than just by talking to each other. The Internet has created a way to view subjects differently;Where reading about cellular(you don't need "cellular," mitosis always and only occurs in cell) mitosis isbecomes informative, seeing itentire mitotic procedure on a science clip posted on YouTube can help us connect the dots. The way we learn has evolved over the centuries, and so it is only fittingfits only in that they way an institution of higher learning functions should evolve. First as cavemen we learned by doing(I recommend this to change into "trial and error" or mentioning doing what things exactly, or is it practicing?), and as language developed, we learned by stories. As the evolution of a written system came about, so did a new way of learning, by reading and to further advance(further advance is repetitive. and change it to advancement) this the printing press made more books available to more people. So as the Internet has a created away to categorize information, books have lost some of their use; but that(specify that) is to be expected. The Internet has not created a revolution, but it has created an evolution for the college campus and the way we learn. The Internet has created away for us to Google a question and receive an answer, or at least a starting point to find the answer. The Internet has allowed us all to become specialist in the fields of rocket science and nuclear physics or any other, by being able to reference actual specialist in those fields by being able to easily access their publications(this sentence has too many being able to and it is too long, you might want to break it). In terms of how the Internet affects a student’s homework, it allows the student to get help on a writing assignment(use dash here)or learn a little bit more about the Georgian- Russian Conflict,(delete comma) to better argue a point next time around in class.
Think of how writing assignments would be different if the Internet didn’t exist. The teacher would have to give a few sources and most ideas would have to be limited to what was discussed in class. TheA problem with this isof this situation is that it(specify what is it) does not lend itself to diversity of thought, and it makes the paper much more biased. A paper on the world’s religions would be completely subjected to personal knowledge, class room knowledge, and whatever information the author of religion books feels that you need to know. The college university prides itself on how diverse it is, especially Vanderbilt, and how this diversity creates well rounded individuals.(I don't get what you are talking about in this sentence, and i think it doesn't match your paragraph)
All of these advancements that the Internet has created, does not mean that the identity of the college campus has been completely changed. The college campus still has football games, and professors, fraternities, and funny smelling dorms. The college campus is still a place where people can come and find their identity or create a completely new oneidentity, which ever they see fit. Just because the Internet and technology as a whole have advanced, it **does not mean that the traditional way of doing stuff has stopped— - no- — **(get rid of dashes and no, just putting semi-colon is enough and clear) ; it has just evolved.
As with most good things** do, there are **also bad things to come with it. I will not deny it is not possible to deny that the Internet has created a way for people to plagiarize another’s worksother's work by a few clicks of a button or has allowed us to use Spark Note a book or just a few chapters, because we were to lazy to read themincreased lazyness. These claims are valid, but as the Internet made it easier to plagiarize,— it also has made itplagiarism** easier to detect plagiarism with many web services dedicated tosolely for teachers to find out detecting plagiarism for teachers. A bigger problem with the argument is that it ignores the fact that plagiarism and cheating existed long before the Internet was aroundenabled and in some ways was harder to detect
Safety is the other big concern with the Internet, and it is well founded if you watch the news to much. Every day we hearsee the news about someone getting abducted or teenagers deciding to take revenge on the their school, classmates or co-workers. While Facebook does allow some people to view your profile, and to find things out without you knowing, you are as only as vulnerable as you make yourself out to be. With Facebook, there are security settings to lock out unwanted people, and on campus there are campus police and mass text/phone call/email list if anyone dangerous is on campus. In a way I would say that it safer with the help of the Internet for a student on campus.
The Internet has created a way for people to connect and spread information and to test ideas. It has increased safety through the interconnectedness of everyoneinterconnection among people and their friends. The same results are exist for what the university has always stoodstands for for. The same way that universities integrated women and non-whites into the schools,— so is— the internet is integrating Israelis and Palestinians so that there might be open discourse of ideas. The modern classroom should not fear the Internet, but insteadit needs to embrace internet for what it is, a tool that can and will help people to better understand and with that, discuss ideas. With being able to discuss these ideas comes the ability to learn and progress in every subject area(I recommend to fix it into "while only being able to discuss, progress and learning abilities to be achieved"). This way our university can teach us ways to solve the world’s biggest problems: Famine, War, Disease, Human Rights and Dignity, AIDS…


General Comment
this paper is generally written in too casual speach. Try to be not too casual.
Check the sentence fragments and run on sentences. There were a lot of this.
There were some mistakes of subject verb agreement.
Try to make sentence clear, concise and succinct as possible.
trying to avoid any vague pronouns such as "it"
You made some very interesting ideas and anecdotes on your paper.
But, try not to put too much details that you just made up. such as names Michael sam and James

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